This poem dates back to 3rd August 1996, so quite a while ago now - a bit of teenage angst for you, in fact. I appear to have been quite keen on the word "shite" when I wrote this. I think this will be the last poem I'll be putting up here - there's one or two more, but they're even worse than these. They served a purpose at the time (that's all the poems were for, an outlet) but I think I'm right to be a bit choosy about which ones appear.

Thinking

Most of the time you just cannot complain
You don't even mind if you drive yourself insane
Now and again though you see a warning sign
Maybe it's not like that quite all the time

Just as my eyes can't stop themselves from blinking
My mind just won't stop itself from thinking
When I think, then it's time to worry
I'll be in a different mood without a hurry

Then you think that you are feeling down
So I'll look depressed and wear a frown
I'll not smile and try not be funny
Just to tell people my life isn't sunny

Sometimes though there isn't an act
It's more hard evidence and a matter of fact
The warning signs have been and gone
You're on your own and you're a culture of one

And then you think
And then you might even say what you mean

I'm fed up of people fucking me about
and people who don't sing but shout
I'm narked at the fact that today is now
and that yesterday my life worked out somehow

I'm fed up with the fact I might not be the best
and that other people might not be impressed
I'm arsed when things are less than great
and people who are in a better state

Why do you have to argue the toss?
I don't suppose you think of a loss?
Yes, of course, you're always right
But I know that that's a bag of shite

So why didn't you give me a ring?
I was in all day and didn't do a thing
Maybe I was just hoping for the sake of hope
Maybe my expectations are those of a dope

Maybe my expectations are those which count
So fuck the rest, it's my time to shout
My life is a machine and I control every cog
It won't be spoiled by every woman and her dog

Then after time the smoke clears from the head
And you sit down and consider everything that's been said
The fact of the matter is plain to see
It all comes down to just you and me

It's all as simple as black and white
So why bother with the rest of the shite?
You will get fed up and people will annoy
But it's your life and yours to enjoy