When I was growing up in St. Helens, our public transport came in the form of banged out cream and green Merseyside Transport buses. I clearly remember that the seats had this kind of grey and red plasticy upholstery, which you'd just slide off if the driver slowed down too quickly. On the double decker buses the seats at the back were directly above the engine and would get so hot that you just could not sit on them. Also, sitting near the engine for any length of time would ensure that you would be get off the bus completely deaf.

Other than these recollections, my overriding memory of these buses was a transparent sign on each of the windows. The sign read thus: "WILFUL DAMAGE TO SEATS ETC. - THE MANAGEMENT WILL PRESS FOR THE HEAVIEST PENALTIES AGAINST OFFENDERS". I only know that the sign said this through guesswork, because I didn't see a specimen that didn't have letters scratched off. Observe:

A measure of the early development of my purile mind - this humour, simple but effective, really has stood the test of time.